Born at an early age he quickly fell in the social order as the Doctor dropped him on the bedroom floor. After a few unsuccessful attempts to rise he decided to stay where he was as in general people did not notice him, but he got quite a good view of the world from his lowly vantage point.
Since then he has seen quite a bit of the UK, a small part of Europe. He has been as far west as California, and east as far as Israel, but nowadays spends most of his time holding down an armchair lest it should blow away and not be there when needed.
He was described (by a Consultant, no less) as having “quite severe co-morbidities in the form of ischemic heart disease, previous pulmonary embolism and (being) on a lot of medications”. That same Consultant then added prostate cancer to the list of awards. These were further complemented by seven and a half weeks of radiotherapy for good measure.
He chooses to take all that as a compliment.
Twenty eight and a bit years ago he was given a carbootful of cardboard boxes, told to “take that lot home” and unpack it, and get it going. “It” turned out to be an Amstrad computer. Most of the plugs and connectors were unambiguous so the getting going bit proved no worse than any other esoteric piece of electrical kit, and finding out how it worked was just lots of trial and mostly, error.
Eventually his employer upgraded to “Windows” and the staff were actually given a proper course in how to use it – ie: a whole morning. Now he can install more RAM and swap a hard disc to SSD – so the message is – you may be as he is, on the way to the crematorium, but you can stop the hearse, and put yourself on the web before those doors close behind you.
He and his wife have exercised the freedom of movement so hated by the present Government (Government ? – Ha !) and are now uneconomic migrants in Scotland where the Health Service is better. So much better is it, that they have recently become Great Grand Parents though quite what the Health Service did to achieve that they are not sure. Isn’t medicine wonderful these days ?
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