Leaver, or Remainer ?

Scene : Heathrow

Border Official :

“Good Morning Sir. May I see your passport please. Thank you.¬† Ah – Japanese I see. Lovely country I believe.”

Tourist :

Thank you. Yes I am Japanese. The cherry blossom was out as I left.”

Border Official :

Very beautiful I believe Sir. I am required to ask, are you a Leaver or a Remainer ?”

Tourist :

“Sir, I am neither. I am Japanese.”

Border Official :

“Ah. Sir. We will have our little joke eh ? Are you a Japanese Leaver, or a Japanese Remainer ?”

Tourist :

“Sir, with respect, I am a Japanese citizen, I do not interest my self in your country’s politics. I do not side with any of your political parties.”

Border Official : (Pressing bell under the desk)

“I am sorry Sir. That will not do.”

(Uniformed men arrive. Border Official points at Tourist).

“Category :Undecided. Action : Return to Country of origin”.

(To Tourist).

“I am sorry about this Sir, but you must be either a Leaver or a Remainer. I am required to endorse your Passport as such. You may change your mind at any time between now and the departure of your flight. Have a nice day”.

* * * *

Why do I write this ? Because an article in today’s Guardian suggests, quite plausibly, that politics in this country are in the process of changing into those of Northern Ireland as they were before the Good Friday Agreement came into force. The joke then was that of a Rabbi landing in Northern Ireland and being asked his religion. When he said he was a Rabbi the reply was, “Well, are youz a Protestant rabbi or a Catholic Rabbi ?”

About The Author

Born 9 December 1933. Former Royal Air Force person. Retired Church of England Clergyman. Father. Grandfather, and now, Great Grandfather. Citizen of Europe and Fervent Remainer. Thinks that Members of Parliament and especially Ministers of the Crown, who lie to Parliament should be brought before a public tribunal where the evidence can be heard, and examined, and suitable penalties awarded.
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