Dear Mr. Horta-Osorio

Lloyds Bank Logo

Dear Mr. Horta-Osorio,

I understand from the Guardian newspaper that you are going to close down our current current account – the “Classic Vantage”account – in favour of something called “Club Lloyds”.  This is of interest to my wife and I as we have had one of your Classic Vantage accounts for some time, and we did think that if you had some idea of altering it you would let us know the pros and cons of the idea in advance.  The Guardian newspaper writer, a Mr. Rupert Jones, seems to think this account will be available from tomorrow, Monday, 31 March 2014, and that we shall be able to effect the change on your online banking website.  However, my investigations on your site over these last two days have failed to bring up any reference to this change whatsoever.

We thought that this might be another example of journalists inventing a good story especially since you and your colleagues at the Royal Bank of Scotland have worked so hard at destroying your respective businesses and refining the dark art of upsetting customers by demonstrating to them that they are of no account in your vision of the banking business, except of course for the never ending supply of the readies so badly needed by you all to pay the bonuses you receive for your shady activities.

However, we find on the web other newspaper articles referencing this story and so are led to believe that either they are all in the deception together (and you in the banking industry are well versed in this aren’t you ?) or that there might be a grain of truth in here somewhere, although they cannot agree on whether the new regime will commence on Monday or Tuesday, and we note that the latter is April Fools Day, but this is no doubt an unfortunate oversight.

We trust you are now feeling better after your spell of ill health and that you are enjoying your salary and bonuses and will continue to do so.  But we feel that we should point out that if you continue your present policy of getting rid of your customers by your curious, and some would say unpleasant, ideas on customer relations there will  be no bank, no job, no salary, and no bonuses.

Yorkshire Post
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About The Author

Born 9 December 1933. Former Royal Air Force person. Retired Church of England Clergyman. Father. Grandfather. Expectant Great Grandfather. Paid up member of the Liberal Democrats. Fervent Remainer.
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